Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
this will be a night to untag.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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