I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
