When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
