question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
