I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
