apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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