im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
