found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize