Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
