I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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