Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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