I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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