He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
