OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
