sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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