Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
