I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have aggressive nipples.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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