Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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