i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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