I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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