Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
