You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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