Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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