I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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