I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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