Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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