honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
