Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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