I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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