Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
