Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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