google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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