Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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