dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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