Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
