yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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