How'd it feel making her break her religion?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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