It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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