Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
