you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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