I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
