the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
