i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
