marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
