you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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