we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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