I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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