you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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