great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
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we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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