I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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