Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
