like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
did i walk over a car last night?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
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When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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