Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.