ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.