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• (315): View more from New York

  Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.

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• (315): View more from New York

  We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same

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• (716): View more from New York

  It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.

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• (516): View more from New York

  VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.

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• (415): View more from California

  You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.

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• (310): View more from California

  Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell

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