I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.