I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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