Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize