oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He shit in the fireplace
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
