I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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